Within Reach

I realized yesterday that my children just assume I can always hear them. I can be on a different floor on the other side of the house and they will start a conversation with me just the same as if I were sitting across the couch from them. Yelling a conversation through the house does not bother them — they just expect to be heard.

I can be in the bathroom or shower and my kids will lay on the floor outside the bathroom door and yell to me over the water. They never seem to question if I’m busy or if there’s a better time (or person — hello, your dad IS in the living room) to ask.

As far as my children are concerned, I’m always on call. Always ready to listen and respond to their every thought and question. And for the most part, they’re right. I pretty much can always hear and respond to them –whether I like it or not 😉

This open line of motherhood made me think about prayer and the line of communication between me and God. Do I assume, like my children, that God is always listening — always within earshot and available regardless of what else is going on?

Subconsciously, I know God is always there, always listening, and available. But in practice, I want everything to be just so before I talk to him. This is more about the noise in my own head and heart than anything else. It’s difficult for me to talk with God when the roar of life is so loud.

Plus, lately, God has felt far off.

The last eighteen months have been filled with no’s. God’s given lots of good things…endless good things. But lately, he’s simply said no a lot too. And when I fear my questions will be shot down (by God or people), I tend to stop asking. I pull into myself and try to figure things out on my own.

It wasn’t until yesterday, pondering the way my children approach me, that I really thought about how freely I might approach God too. Do I really see him as a child sees a parent — always within earshot, ever available to stop and listen? And unlike me and my children, do I trust that he does not grow weary of my questions or fail to give right answers?

I’m not writing this today because I’ve settled all these questions in my heart; I’m writing because I’m asking them. Maybe you are too. Maybe the questions and uncertainty are the very thing God will use to open up the line of trust and communication between us. Maybe I just need the reminder that he’s both God and father — and like a parent, he hears me regardless of the noise and chaos between us.