Thoughts on Being Alone During a Lockdown

Central Massachusetts

This is a strange situation we find ourselves in, isn’t it? At the beginning of March, my family took a trip to Florida. We arrived home ten days later and the world seemed to be upside down. I remember going to the grocery store to restock our fridge and pantry, thinking I’d be doing my usual weekly trip. Instead, I was met with empty shelves and an eerie sense of anxiety all around me. Our church services were cancelled that week and school postponed for two weeks shortly thereafter.

Not So Bad

Apart from not attending church and the empty shelves, nothing felt all that different at first. I’m a stay-at-home mom, so I’m home most of the time anyway. We’re homeschooling this year, so again, nothing changed for us there. My husband is still working (which I’m immensely thankful for and do not take for granted). So overall, our normal day-to-day routine moved along just the same, minus a few outings I’d normally take.

Feeling the Weight

Four weeks in though, and this doesn’t feel so routine anymore. My husband has seasons when he works a lot of overtime. And that happens to be the case right now. So, instead of his usual 10 or 12 hours away each day, he’s sometimes gone 15 hours in a day or has to work on a day when he’s normally off.

Again, I’m really thankful he’s still working. I know this isn’t the case for so many right now and it’s a very stressful, uncertain situation. But it’s hard spending so many hours at home with young children during the same season when my husband is gone more than ever.

I’m sure this is the case for many families right now with someone essential working. I can only imagine how many hours health workers, grocery store staff, delivery drivers, and many others are gone from home right now. I think too of the singles and single parents who are spending so many hours alone in this season.

How to Get Through

This seems to be a hard season for everyone depending on how it hits them. For some, there’s the fear and heartache of sickness and loss brought by the virus. For others, there’s the stress of losing work or of trying to work from home. There’s an upheaval with schooling kids from home and the disappointment of not finishing the school year as imagined. Weddings and events are canceled. And for me and many like me, there’s just so many hours home alone missing our people.

As the toll of this isolation settles in, I realize I need to find ways to make it work. So, here are a few of the things that are helping me better manage the days and hours alone; maybe it will be a help or encouragement to you too:

• Try Something New

Life at home with two little kids is pretty routine. We click through the days and hours around an unwritten schedule of meals and naptimes, school and chores, errands and outings. But with all the extra hours at home, I realize we’re going to need something new here and there to mix things up.

I always wanted to learn to bake bread and make homemade pasta — so that’s exactly what we did. The bread was pretty awful but the fabulous pasta made up for it haha. And regardless, it gives the kids and I something fun to try together.

• Get Outside

I always have so many yard projects in the back of my mind that I never quite get to. Thankfully, this period of being home coincides with the weather warming up. My kids and I are taking full advantage of any nice weather we get and working away outside. I planted indoor seedlings for the first time this year and I’m excited to transplant them into the garden soon.

• Get Dressed

I try to get dressed every day anyway, but I find myself getting a little more dressed up on these long days at home. It’s nice to feel put together and it does a lot for my mood just to put on mascara and get dressed like I might see someone… even though I won’t. Mind games, I guess 🙂

• Connect Virtually

I’m not one for sharing selfies or virtual stories. But I find this long separation from the faces I love is breaking that barrier. It does my soul good to see faces and hear voices through video chats and connecting virtually.

I also find listening to audio books helps. It’s nice to hear another person’s voice on the other side of a story rather than just curling up with a book “by myself.”

• Let Go

Since we’re out of our routine anyway, I find it easier to let go and have fun with certain things. Like on the nights when my husband works extra late, the kids and I have a little dinner party/movie night in the living room rather than eating at the table like we normally do.

We also like to make cookies together for a special end of the day treat (or late night treat for me after the kids are in bed!). These aren’t normal times and it helps to let some of the normal rules and routines slide a bit. Let it go and have some fun.

• Look Around

It seems like a lot of people in my life are going through other really challenging situations in addition to Covid-19. I’ve had friends diagnosed with illness and others give birth under incredibly challenging circumstances. Some friends are out of work and others have lost loved ones to the very virus we’re all running from.

These long days alone give me more time to pray over things or to simply carry on a longer conversation with a friend who’s hurting. Looking up and around certainly helps keep things in perspective for me.

Alone But Not Alone

It’s easy in circumstances like these to feel completely cut off and alone. But we’re not. Though we can’t be together like we normally are, we are together in this. I’m encouraged by those who’ve called to check on us, picked stuff up at the store, dropped off my favorite coffee (!), and lots of other little acts of kindness that remind me I’m not doing this alone. These strange days look different for everyone, but we’ll get through them together — and be together in a special way on the other side.