The Summer Before You Were Born

South Londonderry, Vermont

Last week, we camped in Vermont as we often do during the summer. Being in that familiar place brought such deep memories and emotions. It’s strange to make memories in a place during a very different stage of life and to return there later feeling like a different person entirely. That’s how this trip was.

Five years ago this summer, I become a mom. This year marks a lot of growth and change for the little boy who made me a mother. And watching him transform leaves me feeling very nostalgic. Wasn’t he just a babe, ever on my hip? My hard one with whom I thought I’d never find my way?

The summer before he was born remains forever etched in my heart and mind. That was the year we bought the 1860s colonial we’ve since remodeled and live in. That summer, we went to Europe for the first time and my life-long dream of seeing Italy became a reality as I walked the streets of Rome, Florence, and Venice. But perhaps the sweetest memory of all is simply the days we spent together camping in Vermont.

We slept in an old tent handed down to us after we married. Our spot was next to the river and I still remember falling asleep to the sound of the water each night. We hiked, biked, swam and spent a whole day floating down the river in tubes.

Though I didn’t realize it then, that summer was filling my reserves for harder days ahead. There is a beginning, middle, and end to every journey. The beginning is usually full of dreaming and excitement. The middle, typically dryer and harder. And the end is hopefully sweet and victorious. That summer, we stood at the beginning of a journey — of leaving behind our days of just us and beginning the days of parenting.

By that fall, our son was on the way and we were excited to be starting a family. The following July, our baby boy was in our arms at last. He came just days before our friends and family headed to Vermont for the annual camping trip. We were bummed to miss out, so just eight days after he was born, we drove to Vermont and spent the day with our friends at the campground. I remember pushing him in the stroller right past the spot by the river where we camped the summer before. We walked the paths we had biked and introduced our brand new baby to one of the places we love most in the world. Though I thought little of it then, already we were making memories as a family in this special place.

The following July, after a hard year of remodeling our home, learning to parent, adjusting to being a stay-at-home mom and lots of other busyness, we decided there was no other place we’d rather celebrate our anniversary than away in the woods of Vermont. Roman, who turned one the same month, got his first taste of tenting.

And like that sweet summer before he was born, we hiked and rode bikes and swam in the river. We snuggled our little guy by the campfire and held him close during the cold nights. Together as a family, we made new memories in this old place we love.

That first year of motherhood was really hard for a lot of reasons. I clearly remember one starry night during that first trip camping as a family. Walking the road at night by myself, I looked up at the stars shining in the velvety dark Vermont sky. And I felt so alive after feeling barely so for months. I remember knowing right then that this was an opportunity to once again fill my tank. I knew I needed to breathe deeply and soak it all in. You can’t stay in that space forever but you can tuck pieces of it away in your heart as a reserve for harder days.

That first trip as a family, like the summer before our son was born, remains an anchor of sweet memories and roots put down together. We’d camp together a couple more times as a family of three before adding our daughter to the gang.

Our daughter, like our son, was born in July so we didn’t camp the summer she was born or the year after. The thought of sleeping in a tent with a then four-year-old and one-year-old didn’t appeal to us lol.

But we couldn’t seem to shake our love of camping even with kids. So this year we bought a fixer-upper camper and ventured up to our spot in Vermont for the first time as a family of four.

Once again, sweet memories of summers past flooded my heart as we walked and biked those familiar paths. We did all the same things we’ve loved for so long — swimming in the river, gathering around the campfire and exploring every old path with new eyes.

We visited the Vermont Country Store and spent the days with cousins and friends.

And at night, when the stars shone clear as they seem to do best in the Vermont sky, I looked up and breathed deeply. I thanked God for the summer before we were parents. For the memories made as a couple that laid a foundation for our future family. I thanked God for our son and the three years we had together just the three of us. And I thanked God for the present — for our daughter and our little family of four.

I’m thankful for the old memories — for the summer before our son was born. But I’m thankful too for the new memories we’re making together. For the opportunity to share the places I love with the people I love and the chance to see every old thing afresh through the eyes of my children.

And I hope someday, when they come upon hard days of their own, that these roots we’ve put down as a family will anchor them to beauty and light. I hope their tanks are full and they have a reserve of sweet memories to draw on. And I hope the smell of pine and campfire draws them right back to a place and time when our family was together enjoying the gift of each other.

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FIELD NOTES:

Winhall Brook Campground

919 Winhall Station Rd, South Londonderry, VT. 05155

$20 – $26 a night.

Open between May and October.

Visit recreation.gov and search for “Winhall Brook” for more information or to book a sight.

From the Website:

“Winhall Brook Camping Area is nestled in the Green Mountains of Vermont along Winhall Brook and the West River, seven miles from Ball Mountain Lake. The campground has strong appeal to the outdoorsman at heart, offering hiking, biking and fishing opportunities.