Summer Book Club 1: Reflections on Anger & Overwhelm

Hello, Book Club friends. How is everyone enjoying Introverted Mom so far? I want to quickly summarize my biggest takeaways from Part One (Ch. 1-3) before we jump into Part Two.

Surprised by Anger

As I mentioned in our Facebook discussion, I never thought of myself as an angry or out of control person until I experienced the stress and overwhelm of motherhood. I’m six years into my parenting journey and just starting to get a handle on losing my temper when I’m frustrated or overwhelmed.

Martin helps me better understand that anger is my mental and nervous system response to feeling overwhelmed and out of control. But just because anger is a natural response doesn’t mean it’s a right response.

“Anger is an indicator to pause or change something.”

Jamie C. Martin

If anger is my natural response to stress, I need to learn how to better manage stress and overwhelm in the first place. Self-care is far from selfish; it’s essential in order for me to properly care for my children.

So, what do I need to do to stay calm and controlled when I’m mentally or physically overwhelmed?

Know and Humbly Accept My Limitations

Some moms can deal with more noise, activity, and stress than I can; that’s great–but it doesn’t change the way God made me. I need to recognize where the edge of my personality is and not try to push beyond it on a regular basis.

Create Margin For My Limitations and Makeup

Knowing that I can’t deal with stress and noise nonstop, I need to find ways to create pockets of quiet and calm throughout my days. A few ways I personally practice this are as simple as:

• Getting up before the kids when possible.
• Requiring an hour of quiet time for my kids each afternoon (while my daughter naps and my very talkative son plays independently. This is when I do almost all of my writing).
• Dad typically takes over with the kids after dinner while I clean the kitchen and reset the house for the next day.
• A hot shower at the end of the day.

It doesn’t have to be an elaborate spa day; just some consistent pockets of reprieve to decompress before I jump back in. Martin says of needing this margin that:

“We can lament this fact or view it as a gift. Regardless, it is a necessity, and if we neglect it, every person in our home will pay the price.”

Jamie C. Martin

There’s a lot of freedom in simply accepting my limitations and who God created me to be.

I Was Never Meant to Be Enough

It’s easy for moms to believe we need to care for everyone and everything all the time. That’s simply not true. While God created mommas with an incredible capacity to love and care for others, he never meant for us to do so in our own strength. Martin lays it out in a simple equation:

God’s Grace + My Weakness = ENOUGH

God works in and through my weakness; not in spite of it. He knows I can’t do this job alone–and he’s not asking me to. What a relief!

Louisa May Alcott

I really enjoyed digging into the life of Louisa May Alcott. I think it’s easy to feel like introversion is a weakness or disadvantage. But it’s encouraging to see how other introverts used their unique personalities and abilities to accomplish exactly what they were made to do.

Maybe You Can Help…

Even with all I learned from Part One, I walked away with one big question on my mind: How do I, as an introverted mom of littles, find quiet time to spend with the Lord?

Even though I try to get up ahead of my kids, it’s all I can do to make a cup of coffee and rush through breakfast before they’re pattering down the stairs ready for another day. And once the noise and busyness of a day begins, I find it nearly impossible to meet with the Lord in a meaningful way. Yes, I still read my Bible. Yes, I throw out short and desperate prayers throughout the day. But it’s not the refreshing, life-giving meeting with the Lord I really need each day.

Any thoughts? What do you do?

Well, that sums up Part One for me. What were your favorite parts or biggest takeaways from the first three chapters?

I’m looking forward to digging into Part Two and the life of L.M. Montgomery together. And if you happen to be new here and would like to jump in, definitely do so! You can see this post for the full rundown and be sure to like and follow along on Facebook for the full conversation.

See you back here in a couple weeks, friends!